3.5 Video: Managing a Difficult Conversation Using DEAR

Recall that you have learned how to approach a difficult conversation using ABCD/DEAR. In this video Roy Johnson will demonstrate how to proceed to address the conflict and make a request for the future. Addressing conflict requires leadership and a commitment to transforming conflict.

Video


Video summary: 

    • Within a week of the initial conflict (where you used strategies to get through the task at hand), approach the other person for a process discussion.

    • Two critical skills to get you through this difficult conversation are: acknowledging and staying curious.

    • Use DEAR:

      1. Describe specifically what you saw and heard. Do not generalize, and do not exaggerate.

      2. Explain the impacts of the situation. Talk about your feelings if you have a good working relationship, but if they are a bully, talk about how the problem is getting in their way.

      3. Ask to hear their point of view. They might say something different from your perspective.

Request a change for the future. Make it practical.